When God slams a door…

(Before you panic, it’s a good slam

I’ve been a little quite on here lately, mostly because I wasn’t ready to write about some of the stuff going on in the background of our adoption. But it’s finally time to get it out there as God has used it to teach me some pretty cool lessons. About three weeks ago there was this post about us getting certified and how I was all ready to send our dossier off…

The brakes got put on pretty quickly when AWOP called us to tell us that they were switching adoption agencies for their clients and even though we were in process they were “encouraging” us to switch to the new agency, Children’s House International. We really weren’t sure what to do and so we took some time to pray about it. I have to admit that I was hugely frustrated because this would delay the process at least a month or more while we applied to CHI and then had new paperwork created for our dossier (not all of it, just some of it).

This was in the midst of our preparations for the huge garage sale and so we didn’t have a lot of time to focus on it the first few days. We spent some time praying about it and I really felt like God was telling us to trust AWOP and their advice. So about 10 days ago we faxed our application to CHI and our home study which they require to be approved by their social worker. We were told that CHI’s dossier requirements were slightly different than Hope’s but it would only take us about an hour to fix them.

Last Monday I got a call from the social worker who did our home study (awesome lady by the way, highly recommend Terri w/ Adoption Specialists of AZ). CHI’s social worker had sent her several emails trying to get more information about our financial situation and health benefits, etc. Seems she was concerned about the idea of Mark having to raise support, etc. Terri did a great job answering her questions - explaining that I was working, had health benefits and that we had NO debt, etc.

All of a sudden a few days ago it dawned on me…Hubby was leaving for Africa soon and would be gone for a couple of weeks. If we didn’t get the “new” papers signed by him before he left than that would delay the process ANOTHER 3 weeks. Up to this point I feel like I’ve been fairly patient with the whole adoption process and not much has thrown me for a loop.

I hurriedly sent CHI an email asking if they could possibly go ahead and send us the papers so I could get signatures before he left and then I could just hold them until we were officially approved. I’m still not sure what the big deal is but apparently they are sticklers for their “process” and they would not bend. I finally lost it on Thursday morning and spent most of the morning in tears. Dear sweet hubby came and rescued me, took me to lunch and let me have a good cry. (In hindsight maybe they already knew our approval was looking slim but they could have conveyed that.)

By now I was totally second-guessing our decision and ready to just say forget it and stay with Hope but I wasn’t sure what was the right move.

After some prayer (thanks prayer warriors!) and perspective I realized that I needed to let it go. This whole time I’ve said that any delay in our process just means that W-boy and B-girl get more time with their grandmother. I think God was testing how much I really meant that.

We asked God to give us patience and to make the decision very clear for us.

And he did.

This morning I received a call from our social worker. She took the initiative to follow up with CHI on Friday and they told her that they would NOT be accepting us as clients. They are uncomfortable, apparently, with the fact that Mark is not currently making income (he will have to raise support in his new job) and we “need to continue to work on stabilizing their economic circumstances and resources”.

I actually laughed out loud at this comment. Um, let’s see….we have NO debt, including a paid off house…we are paying cash for our adoption…I work full time and make enough money for us to pay our bills. Yeah, we definitely need help

God slammed a door that I honestly wasn’t sure I wanted to walk through. Still I wonder why he told me to go with AWOP’s advice if that wasn’t what was going to work for us? Maybe it was to test my obedience. Maybe it was to test my patience. Not sure. But praise Him for giving us a clear sign.

I spoke with AWOP’s director this morning and she agreed that we should stay with Hope and proceed from there. Her son is in country right now and checking on the legal papers for W-boy and B-girl.

I cannot explain the huge sense of relief and peace that I feel now! Tomorrow I will take our dossier down to the Secretary of State to get it authenticated. Then it just has to go in the mail. As impatient as I am, I think I’ll wait til the day AFTER tax day to stand in the post office line!

So that’s what’s going on with us. I’m pretty excited because there’s a good possibility that the timing could work out so that we are traveling with some friends who are adopting. Too early to know for sure. I’m also glad to be staying with Hope. They have an incredible online community that is so encouraging and supportive. I would have missed that tremendously.